I'm sitting here on the
couch watching tv and I look down at my coffee table and see a bib,
noonie, baby brush and a toy Brobee from yo gabba gabba and, I smile.
Almost 4 years ago I married my husband and we began our amazing life
together. And we started trying to have a baby. Now, I say we started the
process of trying to have a baby. I didn't know at that time that it
would be a process. We have gone through so much to get here and yet it
doesn't feel like we have. Ivf is a blurr, our two miscarriages are a
blurr, all the tears and doubt is a blurr. I have my baby. The hardest
part about infertility is not knowing the end result. My Isabelle is the
baby I was meant to have and I had to go through a process to get her.
If I would've known how great the end would be, I wouldn't have worried
so much. Through those 3 years of trying, I couldn't be happy. I had a
great life but couldn't get the idea of never being able to have a baby
out of my mind. But those 3 years we grew so much stronger and had some
great memories as a married couple and now we get to live our life as
a family. Infertility isn't fair, it's cruel and can break your heart.
But I didn't let it break me, I kept fighting and look where I am now.
Thank you God for everything I have been through. Everything has brought
me to this moment with this baby, my baby, the one that was meant for
me. Last Mother's Day I was pregnant with Isabelle, the Mother's Day before that I was pregnant with the first baby I lost and this Mother's Day I am holding my baby and believe me when I say, its better than I could've ever imagined.
So for this Mother's Day, I'm thinking of you. I want to take a moment to say I am thinking about
every woman out there that is longing to be a mom but hasn't yet had a
chance to hold her own child in her arms. Whether it's due to
infertility, pregnancy loss, infant loss, or one of many other reasons
it doesn't matter. You are all so special and loved.
