Showing posts with label conceive. Show all posts
Showing posts with label conceive. Show all posts

Sunday, May 11, 2014

On this Mother's Day, I'm thinking of you

I'm sitting here on the couch watching tv and I look down at my coffee table and see a bib, noonie, baby brush and a toy Brobee from yo gabba gabba and, I smile. Almost 4 years ago I married my husband and we began our amazing life together. And we started trying to have a baby. Now, I say we started the process of trying to have a baby. I didn't know at that time that it would be a process. We have gone through so much to get here and yet it doesn't feel like we have. Ivf is a blurr, our two miscarriages are a blurr, all the tears and doubt is a blurr. I have my baby. The hardest part about infertility is not knowing the end result. My Isabelle is the baby I was meant to have and I had to go through a process to get her. If I would've known how great the end would be, I wouldn't have worried so much. Through those 3 years of trying, I couldn't be happy. I had a great life but couldn't get the idea of never being able to have a baby out of my mind. But those 3 years we grew so much stronger  and had some great memories as a married couple and now we get to live our life as a family. Infertility isn't fair, it's cruel and can break your heart. But I didn't let it break me, I kept fighting and look where I am now. Thank you God for everything I have been through. Everything has brought me to this moment with this baby, my baby, the one that was meant for me. Last Mother's Day I was pregnant with Isabelle, the Mother's Day before that I was pregnant with the first baby I lost and this Mother's Day I am holding my baby and believe me when I say, its better than I could've ever imagined. 

So for this Mother's Day, I'm thinking of you. I want to take a moment to say I am thinking about every woman out there that is longing to be a mom but hasn't yet had a chance to hold her own child in her arms. Whether it's due to infertility, pregnancy loss, infant loss, or one of many other reasons it doesn't matter. You are all so special and loved.

Saturday, April 26, 2014

There are no words. Yes, infertilty is a hard journey but so worth it.

You wait and wait and wait.... having hope but somewhere inside, you never "really" believe that this will happen. Yes, you go through all the shots, all the doctor appointments, all the heartache, all the hope. But, IF you NEVER try, you will NEVER get there! Is it hard? It is soul crushing hard!

They say that IVF normally works within 3 cycles. I did get pregnant on my first two cycles but I miscarried. The fact that I did get pregnant when nothing else had worked for 3 years was like a weight lifting off my chest. When both of those pregnancies ended in a miscarriage, the weight that came back was almost too much to bear. Looking back, I never smiled, there was no joy, I was just a zombie going through day after day, doing what I was told to do because one day "maybe" it would give me the the child I so desperately wanted. My 3rd cycle also worked, did it have some bumps, you betcha. Lower beta numbers and bleeding in my 1st trimester that put me to bed. (would this be another miscarriage?) I was not the happy smiling pregnant women that you see on TV, I lived my 9 months full of fear and anxiety, waiting for the bad to come. It had to, it always had.

So, if you are reading this... be the zombie, live with the heartache, because in the end, you smile, you laugh, you giggle. One day you realize the huge gaping hole inside of you is gone. The person you were while going through the journey leaves and you do find yourself again. Only now you are sleep deprived and exhausted but.....your heart sings!

Our sweet little Isabelle at 3 months of age.

The love you will feel.... there are no words.



~kristen

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Things are counting down. Hard to believe that we are really here! We just had our baby shower, wanted to share a couple of shots of what I look like. Today I am 33 weeks and 3 day. I have my last ultrasound tomorrow morning. Last check to make sure everything looks ok with our sweet little girl.

Hubby and I.



Here is one of me peeking around the fence. :-)




And we have decided to name her Isabelle.


So... if you are out there on your own journey, DON'T GIVE UP!!
Yes, it is hard and frustrating and will break you in an instant. But if you are strong, the majority of women will be pregnant by their 3rd cycle. And you tend to forget most of it and start to feel like a regular ole pregnant person.

~happy Mommy to be, Kristen

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

The prayers of the heart...

We went for an early gender ultrasound, done at 14 weeks 5 days. I had been studying what the "angle of the dangle" looks like for each gender and had shown my husband numerous videos. As soon as the ultrasound tech had a close up shot I looked at my husband and we both knew.... and then she said it, It is a girl!! During my pregnancy I kept thinking that there was no way I would have a girl. During my infertility process, I would imagine myself in the hospital holding my baby girl. But now looking back, I should've known that it was a girl. I prayed and prayed so hard for a baby; a healthy baby. I wanted to finally be a Mom. But they say that God hears the prayers that we never even pray, the prayers of your heart. I have always dreamed of having a little girl, that is what I pictured in my mind when I saw myself as a Mother. Of course it is a girl, because that is the silent prayer that was never said...the true prayer of my heart <3


Mommy to be ~Kristen

Sunday, June 30, 2013

IVF, SCH update

Ultrasound 11 weeks 5 days, heartbeat 165
 Subchorionic hematoma - changed to just a sliver, way below the baby.
 EVERYTHING IS GOOD!!!!

Here is our official facebook announcement.




~Kristen

Friday, June 7, 2013

IVF... Our second ultrasound, spotting

We had an unexpected ultrasound on May 23rd. I had some spotting the day before, it was mostly brown but did seem to have some clots and tissue in it. I was scared and nervous but kept telling myself it was the empty sac. When they did my first ultrasound, they found 2 sacs, one with a heartbeat measuring correctly and one that had stopped growing at 5 weeks, 2 days. I just thought it was the second empty sac trying to pass. But, of course with everything I had to go through to get this far, there had to be another bump in the road. What they found was a subchorionic hematoma or SCH for short, I actually have 2 of them, one over each sac. I was put on strict bed rest, no work, no play. Come back in 2 weeks. From what I have found on the internet, this is very common in pregnancies, especially twin pregnancies. Baby bean looked wonderful, heartbeat of 161 measuring right on track. None the less... anxiety and worry followed me around everyday like they thought we were best friends. At this point the doctor would have prescribed, baby aspirin and progesterone, but I was already on those. The concern was, the hematoma was over the baby, if it decided to break loose... there was a chance that it would take the baby with it.
So at 8 weeks, bed rest it is!!




I would like you to meet my friend



http://opinion-forum.com/index/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/worry.jpg

What it is: Also called subchorionic hematoma, subchorionic bleeding is the accumulation of blood within the folds of the chorion (the outer fetal membrane, next to the placenta) or within the layers of the placenta itself. These bleeds, or clots, can cause the placenta to separate from the uterine wall if they get too large, if they develop in a bad spot, or if they aren’t eventually reabsorbed.

How common is it? A good 20 percent of pregnant women will experience some kind of bleeding early in pregnancy, though it’s often hard to tell what’s causing the problem. Subchorionic hematomas are even harder to pick up because they don’t always result in noticeable spotting or bleeding, especially when they’re small.

Who is most at risk? There don’t seem to be any specific risk factors for developing a subchorionic hematoma in the first place, but if you do wind up with one, there are factors that can make you more — or less — likely to have a positive outcome.

What are the symptoms? Spotting or bleeding may be a sign, often beginning in the first trimester. But many subchorionic bleeds are detected during a routine ultrasound, without there being any noticeable signs or symptoms.

Should you be concerned? You wouldn’t be normal if you didn’t worry when you see blood, no matter when it occurs in your pregnancy. And that’s actually a good thing, especially if it prompts you to get in touch with your practitioner, who can make sure there’s nothing amiss. While most subchorionic hematomas dissolve on their own, it is possible for the clot to get in between the placenta and the uterine wall, resulting in miscarriage.
 
Here’s the encouraging news: More than half of women who bleed during their first trimester go on to have perfectly healthy pregnancies. But because subchorionic hematomas have been linked to increased risk of placental abruption and preterm labor, you don’t want to ignore signs of spotting or bleeding.

What you should do: Call your practitioner; an ultrasound may be ordered to see whether there is indeed a hematoma, how large it is, and where it’s located. Depending on the findings, as well as on your practitioner’s preferences, he or she may put you on strict bed rest, insist you refrain from lifting heavy objects, and avoid exercise. In most cases, you’ll be asked to avoid sexual intercourse until the hematoma dissolves and disappears. 


~Kristen

Friday, March 29, 2013

My IVF "sock exchange" package

On Egg Retrieval day, we are so hyped up on hormones and just a wee bit emotional. LOL!! It is such a stressful day... will we have enough eggs, will they be mature, will they fertilize, will they continue to grow? While putting on your hospital gown, you are a ball of nerves. Praying that you did everything right and praying that this is the the next step to finally having your dream come true. Since the only thing we can control that day is what to wear on our feet, my online IVF group decided to do a "sock exchange" this is the package I received today from my new friend :)

 

I feel so very blessed! Thank you Crystal, you made my day! 

Check out my video below:

I got mail!!! :)




On a side note, "they" whoever "they" are have said, keeping your feet warm may help with implantation. Trust me... we listen to everything "they" say!! Because we will do anything in our power to help our dream come true!

~Kristen

Friday, May 18, 2012

Tips to help you get pregnant!

Are you trying to get pregnant? Here are some tips I have learned along the way.

Take a baby aspirin everyday. It is supposed to help your lining thicken up and the baby stick. Reasons to use Baby Aspirin if you are trying to conceive.

Eat a pineapple core during the 5 after ovulation. Cut it into 5 pieces and eat a piece everyday. Pineapple core for implantation.

Have your Prolactin levels checked? Everything we went through.. this was not done until I hit the RE. My levels were too high and that could have been one of my problems all along. Prolactin levels and Infertility
Prolactin doesn't just cause your body to increase milk production - it also affects your ovulation and menstrual cycles. (This is why women who are breastfeeding rarely get pregnant). Prolactin inhibit two hormones necessary for ovulation: follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) and gonadotropin releasing hormone (GnRH). When you have high levels of prolactin in your blood (a condition called hyperprolactinemia), you will not ovulate and this will result in infertility. This anovulation can also cause you to have irregular cycles.


Take at least 1000 mg of Vitamin D3 everyday!!!! Sometimes this is all you need!
"Having enough vitamin D circulating through your system can increase your chances of fertility whether you’re struggling with poly cystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), lack of ovulation or general fertility problems. This “hormone” also plays a role in male reproduction. Both sperm motility and production are increased when levels of vitamin D are normal. SO get your men tested too- as we all know it takes two to tango (so to speak)." Vitamin D

They also have Fertility Vitamins! I have a friend that could not conceive  even after injectables and multiple IUI's, after being on only the vitamins for 2 months she is expecting.<3 (i think she took both)
Fertility Blend or Fertility Plus or FertilAid

Start taking your prenatal vitamins now.

Hope this was useful. :)
~Kristen