Reflux and the feeling of failure. The things we did for GERD with a newborn.

Our sweetness has reflux, GERD, (or the evil that makes babies scream) call it what you like. I feel like a Mommy failure. You have all these plans, the baby gets here and you have an idea of what you life will be. (well an inkling of an idea) First my beautiful baby with perfect baby skin developed eczema. Not just a little but everywhere. It was horrible. Finally resolving mostly with nightly baths in Eucerin Aquaphor wash and shampoo, as prescribed by her doctor. Her little skin finally looked better after about a week and a half. At about 8 weeks came the reflux. (step #1.) As a breastfeeding Mommy, I cut everything out of my diet that "they" said could be the culprit. "They" being my Pediatrician and anyone who had a voice or opinion on the internet. Baby still screamed, and let me be specific... not cry, SCREAMED! (step #2.) Stopped breastfeeding and moved her to Alimentum formula. (this made the biggest difference) This was gut wrenching hard but, like a ray of light after the storm... within 12 hours, she smiled. She did well on this for about 3 weeks. (step #3.) Then it got bad, the doctor recommenced adding rice cereal to thicken the formula to keep it down and to keep her upright for 30 minutes after feeding. (step #4.) She also prescribed Zantac. Ok, she was better for a while. And I use the term better very loosely. I spent my days in the rocking chair so she would sleep. Otherwise she would go down and sleep for 30 minutes and then scream and scream, you couldn't get her back to sleep. Screams that a little baby should never have to make. Full out screams! On Mothers Day she ended up in the emergency room. She would no longer eat, just cry. Never ever was this in my plan. (step #5.) ER said Maalox for 4 days and call her doctor to change medicine. (step #6.) The doctor moved her to Prevacid. The Maalox was like a miracle, a miracle that could only last for 4 days. Her throat was so torn up from the acid and the screaming she was hoarse. It completely broke my heart. The Prevacid was horrible, it was like taking a step backward. (step #7.) Moved to Nexium, and again we saw a difference within 12 hours. It has been a week. She is cooing again, she is moving again. During this war with reflux she had stopped doing anything. The cooing sounds stopped, she could roll from back to front and front to back... it stopped. She was just trying to make it through the day, there was no more advancement, no more learning new things. At 4 months it was the worse. I say that now that we are at 5 months and on Nexium. It breaks my heart to think as her Mommy I was so very  helpless. Yes, I gave up my life and have lived practically day and night in the rocking chair but that was a very small price to pay for the pain I saw in my daughters face day after day. Now in this very moment, I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Please don't think everything is all sunny and roses. I still rock her for her morning and afternoon naps, the two of us becoming one in the rocking chair. But.... I see her smiling, I heard her laugh. "They" say most reflux resolves itself around 6 moths when the valve closes and the stomach acid can't flow up any longer. I hope with all hope that this is our case. So, that is the new plan, or not?

And I can't help but wonder if eczema was a sign of the coming reflux? If they go hand in hand?
It is very hard to condense 5 months into one post, but know that each step was tried for 2 to 3 weeks before the doctor would consider moving on to the next step. A very slow process.... 

Our princess at her 5 month old portrait, taken later that it should have been so we could wait for her to feel better. I had no idea how long we would have to wait. I still have concerns, I'm not the type to rush out and put my baby on medicine. Nexium has a load of side effects but for now, the benefits out way the risk. 




A side note: it has been 3 weeks now that Isabelle has been on the Nexium. It did make some of her eczema flare up on her chest and neck. But... we have gone from living in the rocking chair to her putting herself to sleep in her bed. YIPPEE! She has a wedge under her mattress and about 6 pacifiers in there. We put her in the bed and she goes from taking one pacifier out and putting in another over and over until she gets tired, then she puts her hand out and she rubs the furry wall. (that is what we call it) The middle part of her bumper pad is a little soft and fuzzy. She likes to touch it.  <3

~kristen

And an update... Isabelle is 15 months old and we stopped the Nexium this month. The dose was adjusted as she grew. Her enema is still here around her shoulders and the back of her neck so we moisturize daily.