Showing posts with label ultrasound. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ultrasound. Show all posts

Saturday, April 26, 2014

There are no words. Yes, infertilty is a hard journey but so worth it.

You wait and wait and wait.... having hope but somewhere inside, you never "really" believe that this will happen. Yes, you go through all the shots, all the doctor appointments, all the heartache, all the hope. But, IF you NEVER try, you will NEVER get there! Is it hard? It is soul crushing hard!

They say that IVF normally works within 3 cycles. I did get pregnant on my first two cycles but I miscarried. The fact that I did get pregnant when nothing else had worked for 3 years was like a weight lifting off my chest. When both of those pregnancies ended in a miscarriage, the weight that came back was almost too much to bear. Looking back, I never smiled, there was no joy, I was just a zombie going through day after day, doing what I was told to do because one day "maybe" it would give me the the child I so desperately wanted. My 3rd cycle also worked, did it have some bumps, you betcha. Lower beta numbers and bleeding in my 1st trimester that put me to bed. (would this be another miscarriage?) I was not the happy smiling pregnant women that you see on TV, I lived my 9 months full of fear and anxiety, waiting for the bad to come. It had to, it always had.

So, if you are reading this... be the zombie, live with the heartache, because in the end, you smile, you laugh, you giggle. One day you realize the huge gaping hole inside of you is gone. The person you were while going through the journey leaves and you do find yourself again. Only now you are sleep deprived and exhausted but.....your heart sings!

Our sweet little Isabelle at 3 months of age.

The love you will feel.... there are no words.



~kristen

Friday, November 22, 2013

You have my nose!!!

I went for my last ultrasound yesterday, everything checked out great. Good fluid, good growth, you could see her bladder was full, so she is doing everything she is supposed to be doing. My doctor (who is absolutely wonderful) estimated her weight around 5.5 pounds. I will be 34 weeks tomorrow and I am already packing my hospital bag. No, nothing is wrong but this far along you start to hear "the stories". You know the ones... my water broke 4 weeks early, my water broke 5 weeks early. So.... I have started packing my bag and making list. I guess you can say that I have entered the "nesting" stage. Her nursery is almost finished. Just a few items left to pick up. We still need a diaper genie, which is a MUST have on one of my list.

Did I mention that I am a worrier??? I wish I could be one of those people that could say being pregnant was wonderful! It took us 3 years to get here and countless heartache. I was happy to through all the pregnancy symptoms. BRING THEM ON! :-) I finally had a little baby growing inside of me but, after my first IVF and my FET both resulted in miscarriages and the subchorionic hematoma that put me on bed-rest at 8 weeks with this little bean. I have spent most of my pregnancy worrying. Just this little nagging "what if" at the back of my brain. Now, with only 6 weeks left, I only want to have her safe and sound in my arms. I am not sure how you can love someone so much that you have never met but, my heart is so full of love for her. A happy joyous love that if I think about it too long, it makes me cry.

My sweet little Isabelle, you have my nose! <3


~Kristen

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

The prayers of the heart...

We went for an early gender ultrasound, done at 14 weeks 5 days. I had been studying what the "angle of the dangle" looks like for each gender and had shown my husband numerous videos. As soon as the ultrasound tech had a close up shot I looked at my husband and we both knew.... and then she said it, It is a girl!! During my pregnancy I kept thinking that there was no way I would have a girl. During my infertility process, I would imagine myself in the hospital holding my baby girl. But now looking back, I should've known that it was a girl. I prayed and prayed so hard for a baby; a healthy baby. I wanted to finally be a Mom. But they say that God hears the prayers that we never even pray, the prayers of your heart. I have always dreamed of having a little girl, that is what I pictured in my mind when I saw myself as a Mother. Of course it is a girl, because that is the silent prayer that was never said...the true prayer of my heart <3


Mommy to be ~Kristen

Sunday, June 30, 2013

IVF, SCH update

Ultrasound 11 weeks 5 days, heartbeat 165
 Subchorionic hematoma - changed to just a sliver, way below the baby.
 EVERYTHING IS GOOD!!!!

Here is our official facebook announcement.




~Kristen

Friday, June 7, 2013

IVF, ultrasound to check on subchorionic hematoma

Heatbeat of 174, baby measuring 9 weeks 3 days. <3
subchorionic hematomas, are the same size.

I have had no bleeding, spotting or cramping during the last week and a half of bed rest. My doctor moved me to modified bed rest. The truth being, it is best to rest and not overdue things but what will happen, will happen. I am going to be optimistic!! I have overcome so many bumps in the road to get this far. Most hematomas reabsorb by 20 weeks, no reason to believe that it will not happen to me. Since I am a teacher: I have the summer off to take it easy. Perfect timing! I have left worry and anxiety behind. (yes, they come over and visit but, I don't let them stay) I am 10 weeks pregnant tomorrow. It has taken 3 years to get here, my beautiful little bean is growing in his/her Mommy's tummy. And we are in joyous love with him/her.

May I introduce.... him/her.


Medicine update: I stopped my estrogen and prolactin med at 9.5 weeks.


Mommy to be ~Kristen

IVF... Our second ultrasound, spotting

We had an unexpected ultrasound on May 23rd. I had some spotting the day before, it was mostly brown but did seem to have some clots and tissue in it. I was scared and nervous but kept telling myself it was the empty sac. When they did my first ultrasound, they found 2 sacs, one with a heartbeat measuring correctly and one that had stopped growing at 5 weeks, 2 days. I just thought it was the second empty sac trying to pass. But, of course with everything I had to go through to get this far, there had to be another bump in the road. What they found was a subchorionic hematoma or SCH for short, I actually have 2 of them, one over each sac. I was put on strict bed rest, no work, no play. Come back in 2 weeks. From what I have found on the internet, this is very common in pregnancies, especially twin pregnancies. Baby bean looked wonderful, heartbeat of 161 measuring right on track. None the less... anxiety and worry followed me around everyday like they thought we were best friends. At this point the doctor would have prescribed, baby aspirin and progesterone, but I was already on those. The concern was, the hematoma was over the baby, if it decided to break loose... there was a chance that it would take the baby with it.
So at 8 weeks, bed rest it is!!




I would like you to meet my friend



http://opinion-forum.com/index/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/worry.jpg

What it is: Also called subchorionic hematoma, subchorionic bleeding is the accumulation of blood within the folds of the chorion (the outer fetal membrane, next to the placenta) or within the layers of the placenta itself. These bleeds, or clots, can cause the placenta to separate from the uterine wall if they get too large, if they develop in a bad spot, or if they aren’t eventually reabsorbed.

How common is it? A good 20 percent of pregnant women will experience some kind of bleeding early in pregnancy, though it’s often hard to tell what’s causing the problem. Subchorionic hematomas are even harder to pick up because they don’t always result in noticeable spotting or bleeding, especially when they’re small.

Who is most at risk? There don’t seem to be any specific risk factors for developing a subchorionic hematoma in the first place, but if you do wind up with one, there are factors that can make you more — or less — likely to have a positive outcome.

What are the symptoms? Spotting or bleeding may be a sign, often beginning in the first trimester. But many subchorionic bleeds are detected during a routine ultrasound, without there being any noticeable signs or symptoms.

Should you be concerned? You wouldn’t be normal if you didn’t worry when you see blood, no matter when it occurs in your pregnancy. And that’s actually a good thing, especially if it prompts you to get in touch with your practitioner, who can make sure there’s nothing amiss. While most subchorionic hematomas dissolve on their own, it is possible for the clot to get in between the placenta and the uterine wall, resulting in miscarriage.
 
Here’s the encouraging news: More than half of women who bleed during their first trimester go on to have perfectly healthy pregnancies. But because subchorionic hematomas have been linked to increased risk of placental abruption and preterm labor, you don’t want to ignore signs of spotting or bleeding.

What you should do: Call your practitioner; an ultrasound may be ordered to see whether there is indeed a hematoma, how large it is, and where it’s located. Depending on the findings, as well as on your practitioner’s preferences, he or she may put you on strict bed rest, insist you refrain from lifting heavy objects, and avoid exercise. In most cases, you’ll be asked to avoid sexual intercourse until the hematoma dissolves and disappears. 


~Kristen

Thursday, May 2, 2013

B is for Beta

Beta Beta Beta


I had my first beta 9dp5dt and it was 81.I could not let myself believe until I knew that next beta number jumped up.My RE scheduled my second one for 4 days later and it rose to........ 409!!!!Your beta should double every two days so mine needed to be at least 324 so, 409 was great. My ultrasound is set for May 15th, By this time we should be able to see/hear a heartbeat. Sometimes, it is too early to hear it but we should be able to see it by then. After 3 years of trying everything (Clomid, Femera, 3 IUI's, IVF, FET & IVF again) we have had two pregnancies but never a heartbeat. A heartbeat means a baby! After seeing a heartbeat the miscarriage rate also drops to only 7%. We need a heartbeat..


Heartbeat, Heartbeat, Heartbeat, Heartbeat, Heartbeat

 

 

Thursday, April 18, 2013

IVF, 5 day, Tranfer Day!!!

With my warm socks on my feet sent from my IVF buddy. My RE implanted 2 perfect grade blast. We did Assisted Hatching and you could already see them oozing out. It was a wonderful site to see. The embryos were pictured on an ultrasound and one nurse said, "Oh you're putting in 3 embryos?!" I said that we did assisted hatching so they were already coming out the shell but it really did look like 3...did one split into identical twins during the assisted hatching process?! ahhhh!!! haha just kidding, that's extremely rare. But it was oozing out the shell and it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen! When they drop into place on the ultrasound... everyone in the room awed. They said that was "a perfect drop". I have such a good feeling this cycle. It took a while to get here but now the calm has set in. Will I pee on a stick? You bet I will!! I feel certain that I will receive a positive, My fresh IVF and my FET  worked for me both times but, both resulted in a miscarriage. We just need to make this one stick!! My RE felt the Assisted Hatching would help them to attach better and deeper. I am still taking my estrogen, the med to lower my prolactin level, my pre-natals and of course my progesterone suppositories. The last 2 cycles, I did the progesterone, 100mg twice a day but because of the miscarriages, this cycle it has been bumped up to 100mg, three times a day.


My call came from the Embryologist the next day. We had 2 perfect little embies to freeze. So now, I am just vegging on the couch until Monday when I head back to work.
Stay tuned for future test results. <3

~chillin Kristen

Saturday, April 6, 2013

IVF, time for Stimming!

We had our "Stim Start" last Monday. This means that we are now having 3 shots a night: Lupron, Follistim and Menopur. The follistim and the Menopur is what makes the follicles grow and makes our eggs. At my clinic when you start stimming, you go to the doctor every 3 days the first week. You get bloodwork and ultrasound done to check your estrogen levels and that you have follicles growing, depending on these results your dose can be lowered, increased or can remain the same.

I went to my RE on Wednesday and already had 21 follicles!!! :) Yay! Please remember that your follicles have to mature to a certain number to be viable so just because you have 21 follicles does not mean you will have 21 eggs to fertilize. My estrogen number needed to be between 200 and 400 and mine was 311 so my medication dose remained the same and my nurse said that I was responding beautifully to my meds.

I have to say, going to the doctor really helps. It shows you that you have follicles and reminds you why you are doing all of this. We are making a baby... So try to forget about your swelling stomach and how crazy these hormones are making you and say...we are making a baby :)

Here is a Video of my husband mixing the 3 medications:

Mixing Lupron, Follistim and Menopur 

 

And one day, I hope to look like this!! 

 

 

~Kristen

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Lupron Day Start; IVF Cycle 2

Today I had my first ultrasound and lab appointment for our 3rd try at IVF. If you are new here, here is a quick breakdown of our baby journey so far... (multiple failed clomid cycles, 3 failed IUIs, a fresh IVF cycle that ended in a MC at 8 weeks and a FET cycle that ended in a miscarriage at 4 weeks.) Everything is ready to start again, today is Lupron Day 1! I am going to try and document this cycle more because I have to do things differently. So this cycle I am trying everything :) I am also going to really try to eat better and exercise. Diet can effect fertility, I am staying away from overly processed food and focusing more on a low carb/low sugar diet. Not to mention Water, Water, Water and more Water!!! Also exercise will get my blood flowing which will hopefully help my uterine lining to grow nice and thick. I will also start my baby aspirin today. I have already been taking prenatals with DHEA, folic acid, Vitamin D and CoQ 10. 

Check out my videos below 

I'm filming it on my phone so the quality is not the best but it gets the point across ;)


Preparing lupron

Lupron injection 1

After everything we have been through, it does feel like the world is shouting "no".
But today we start over again!! For a dream, a whisper, a tug at our hearts.
Wishing everyone a little........ HOPE! <3

IVF-Jargon
~Kristen

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Ultrasound day

The ultrasound tech was out for the day so my RE did the scan. I really like the ultrasound tech, she is amazing. She always explains everything and is so knowledgeable. It was nice for my RE to be there to do it, you can tell that he gets involved in the process and really enjoys happy endings. After IVF, you have an ultrasound very early on, this is to see how many babies are there (since most people transfer more than one embryo) and to ensure that everything looks like it has implanted and is growing successfully. I am not sure how far along I am at this point, i think when he measured the crown to rump, the screen said 5 weeks 4 days. He said it was probably too early to find the heartbeat and was right. He said it was like trying to find a heartbeat on a grain of rice. He did say that the yolk sac, and my lining looked excellent. There is this wall that makes a circle around the baby and mine was thick and strong. He said this was the cushion that protected the baby so it was very important that it looked strong and that is the things he looks for most at this stage. I go back in two weeks to hear the heartbeat then i get released to my normal obgyn. At this point, it still doesn't feel real. Every now and then i will stop and think about it and the thought is overwhelming. To think that it worked, i have a baby growing in my belly...it's just amazingly beautiful. I keep praying that the baby will continue to grow and become our healthy, perfect child. I will feel better when it is 12 weeks and the miscarriage rate drops 80%. I guess i feel like since it was so hard to get pregnant then why would my pregnancy not be hard also? I know, realistically, that there is no relation between the two. I just continue to pray and I let myself imagine this working. I imagine how amazing it will feel to grow my child in my belly. A child that is half mine and half the man who is my best friend, that we will each be half of a human being. I cry a lot, just thinking how wonderful it will be to have our own family :) Ultrasound in 2 weeks, i'm ready to hear a heartbeat, i think that will make me feel more confident and maybe give me some peace of mind. Thank you Lord for my miracle. I thank you everyday.