The woes of two pink lines

Ok now that I have a positive, I am kinda freaking out. But I have to remember, just because I have had two miscarriages in the past year does not mean that mine will end that way again. I have to not let FEAR get a hold on me..

 The next step is testing again to see the line get darker and then my first beta on Friday. I have to celebrate the little wins. This is a WIN! And the line was so early, that means the HCG is strong..that is good. I have the right to enjoy every step of my IVF journey and celebrate every victory.

I need to remember that women have miscarriages and then have a live birth all of the time. This could be my time. Everything I want could be waiting for me
...and I'm ready

~Kristen

IVF, Bruises, Hormones, Hives and Tears

This is my second round of IVF and I didn't realize how spoiled I was with the first one because this one is rough on my body! I have been getting side effects from the lupron including fatigue, headaches and hives. The hives are terrible, they swell up for about 3 days so I have to give a shot on top of the hives because we have to rotate sides each night. You can also see the shot marks all over my now swollen stomach...I look like a pin cushion! But we all know, the physical part of this is the easiest, it is the emotional that gets us. My hormones have also been crazy!! This morning my husband said, "babe why are you about to cry?"... I just said, "I don't know...why not?!" Waaaa!!! HAHAHA. This is quite a journey ladies. So remind your husband that your hormones are crazy and remind yourself that your hormones are crazy. But this too will pass... so just focus on your next appointment and being able to see all your follicles growing strong and know that is is okay to cry and to be scared but also be hopeful and have faith. My Mom always says that we need to focus on the small victories during this process to get us through. So I will celebrate my 21 growing follicles and my great estrogen level and just be thankful that I have the opportunity to do invitro because not everyone does.

~Kristen

IVF, time for Stimming!

We had our "Stim Start" last Monday. This means that we are now having 3 shots a night: Lupron, Follistim and Menopur. The follistim and the Menopur is what makes the follicles grow and makes our eggs. At my clinic when you start stimming, you go to the doctor every 3 days the first week. You get bloodwork and ultrasound done to check your estrogen levels and that you have follicles growing, depending on these results your dose can be lowered, increased or can remain the same.

I went to my RE on Wednesday and already had 21 follicles!!! :) Yay! Please remember that your follicles have to mature to a certain number to be viable so just because you have 21 follicles does not mean you will have 21 eggs to fertilize. My estrogen number needed to be between 200 and 400 and mine was 311 so my medication dose remained the same and my nurse said that I was responding beautifully to my meds.

I have to say, going to the doctor really helps. It shows you that you have follicles and reminds you why you are doing all of this. We are making a baby... So try to forget about your swelling stomach and how crazy these hormones are making you and say...we are making a baby :)

Here is a Video of my husband mixing the 3 medications:

Mixing Lupron, Follistim and Menopur 

 

And one day, I hope to look like this!! 

 

 

~Kristen

My IVF "sock exchange" package

On Egg Retrieval day, we are so hyped up on hormones and just a wee bit emotional. LOL!! It is such a stressful day... will we have enough eggs, will they be mature, will they fertilize, will they continue to grow? While putting on your hospital gown, you are a ball of nerves. Praying that you did everything right and praying that this is the the next step to finally having your dream come true. Since the only thing we can control that day is what to wear on our feet, my online IVF group decided to do a "sock exchange" this is the package I received today from my new friend :)

 

I feel so very blessed! Thank you Crystal, you made my day! 

Check out my video below:

I got mail!!! :)

On a side note, "they" whoever "they" are have said, keeping your feet warm may help with implantation. Trust me... we listen to everything "they" say!! Because we will do anything in our power to help our dream come true!

~Kristen

Lupron Day Start; IVF Cycle 2

Today I had my first ultrasound and lab appointment for our 3rd try at IVF. If you are new here, here is a quick breakdown of our baby journey so far... (multiple failed clomid cycles, 3 failed IUIs, a fresh IVF cycle that ended in a MC at 8 weeks and a FET cycle that ended in a miscarriage at 4 weeks.) Everything is ready to start again, today is Lupron Day 1! I am going to try and document this cycle more because I have to do things differently. So this cycle I am trying everything :) I am also going to really try to eat better and exercise. Diet can effect fertility, I am staying away from overly processed food and focusing more on a low carb/low sugar diet. Not to mention Water, Water, Water and more Water!!! Also exercise will get my blood flowing which will hopefully help my uterine lining to grow nice and thick. I will also start my baby aspirin today. I have already been taking prenatals with DHEA, folic acid, Vitamin D and CoQ 10. 

Check out my videos below 

I'm filming it on my phone so the quality is not the best but it gets the point across ;)

Preparing lupron

Lupron injection 1

After everything we have been through, it does feel like the world is shouting "no".
But today we start over again!! For a dream, a whisper, a tug at our hearts.
Wishing everyone a little........ HOPE! <3


~Kristen